Our Appetizer.: How to deal - People who are always late

March 9, 2014

How to deal - People who are always late

I've decided to start a series of posts called How To Deal. There are many things that us as women, men or just normal human beings have to deal with that just annoy us, upset us, irritate us, disappoint us or just basically piss (for a lack of a better word) us off. 

First post in this How To Deal series is People Who Are Always Late.

I have a list of friends who are always late (chronically late). I love their company and spending time with these friends but I really hate waiting for people. I think everyones time is precious these days and when someone doesn't respect my time like I respect theirs it upsets me. Maybe you feel the same. 

How do you deal with friends that are always late? Are you the friend who is always late? If you made plans with a few people to get together and they were always late, what do you say? Do you pretend that it doesn't bother you? Do you lie and say "oh I just got here too" when in reality you've always had a glass of wine by yourself? Or do you just need to relax a little?

There have been a few times with countless different people that I've sat and waited and waited....and waited for them to show you. Lets pretend that you have plans to get together with a group of friends for a night out and you all agree on getting together for dinner at 8 PM. Once 7:45 PM comes around and you text everyone to ask if they will be there at 8 and everyone responds with no. What do you do? You decide to go to the location that you all agreed upon around 8:45 and no one is there yet. Then you get a table and you wait. And you wait.  And wait. Everyone shows up after 9. Do you say something to your friends that are late? 

I personally hate being put in these situations because I don't like arguing with people. I don't want to ruin an evening because of people are being inconsiderate. I always do want to get my point across that my time is just as important as everyones' time, finding the perfect way to do that is the most challenging. 

The way I try to deal with these kinds of people is:

- Plan for them to be late : Give yourself that extra 10 minutes to get ready. Park that much farther from the establishment where you are all meeting up this way you can get a little workout in too.

- Determine if you could relax : Things come up without notice, have an agreement that if they are over 20 minutes late that will really upset you. When you know someone is always late, take matters into your own hands and just plan for them to be late. 

- Confront them : While this might be the most difficult to do, it is the one that should be the most effective. By confronting them, you show them that you respect yourself enough to ask them to respect your time as well as their time. 

- Give them an earlier meet up time : This way they will never be late....maybe.

- Express how you feel when you have to wait : When you express to someone how you felt when you were waiting for a long time for someone this might make them realize that what they did was on the rude side. It is very important to convey that your time is just as important as their time. 

How do you deal with people who are always late?
Are you always late?


  1. This is my biggest pet peeve! I find it extremely insulting when my friends are late, and the majority of them always are! I know they are on time for work, appointments, and boyfriends, but they are late for me! Priorities :(

    1. I agree 100%, it's all about priorities. How do you handle the situation when they are late?

  2. uh-oh - now I feel even worse being late for your link-up!!


    My technique for late people (if I'm not late myself) is pre-empting their lateness and just showing up later myself - like some friends I know will be 30 minutes late, so I mentally prepare our meeting 30 minutes later than allocated. That's probably the least-confrontational method :)

  3. People being late is my biggest pet peeve. I really really drives me crazy. I have a handful of friends who are always late and not just 10 or 20 minutes late but an hour sometimes even 2 hours late. I love spending time with them but waiting around an hour for them bothers me. I've just come to terms with it. If we have plans for say 7pm I know they really mean 8 or 8:30 and that's what I plan for.